


Mouse Butt

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Series: Reviled Hearts [19]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humor, Married Couple, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:58:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8623690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: Ask a stupid question, get a passive-aggressive answer.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Bah. Elphinstone is a character who is technically canon but was only mentioned by JKR outside of the actual books... Also his name was spelled wrong in the pairings list, so I had a hell of a time finding his info in the HP wiki.

~ Mouse Butt ~

"I've been wondering something, dear," Elphinstone Urquart said to his wife one evening over dinner.

"And what would that be?" she inquired, with an air of mild interest.

"How do field mice taste?" he asked.

"And why would you think that I would know a thing like that?" she snapped, her formerly ambivalent mood taking a decidedly negative turn.

"Well, you _are_ a cat, dear... at least, part of the time..."

"I have never eaten a mouse!" Her indignant declaration was accompanied by a symphony of rattling dishes as she slammed her fist on the table to punctuate her anger.

That night, Elphinstone found himself sleeping alone. He had no idea why Minerva had gotten so bent out of shape over that one question. Yes, it had been a stupid thing to ask, but he had honestly been curious...

When he woke up the next morning, he opened his eyes to the sight of a dead mouse on the pillow beside his head.

"There you go. I spent half the night stalking the thing for you, since you wanted to know how they taste. It was quite difficult to catch, you know. I may transform into a cat, but that doesn't mean the form comes with the animal's instincts."

Elphinstone, finding himself in the position of a husband on the wrong side of an argument, resigned himself to having to either apologize or eat the mouse. He wasn't sure which option would be worse...

~ end ~


End file.
